World Hold On
by Catherine4
Summary: Future fic. When their daughter gets seriously ill, how will they cope? Will it tear them apart or make them grow stronger than ever? Addison and Alex
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: The canon characters of Grey's Anatomy are not mine,although I'd steal a few given half the chance. The kids are my own invention however, because I really like the Alex/Addison pairing. I wanted to explore how they'd be in the future, if Addison got all that she told Callie she wanted. This fic may be angsty, but I hope you still enjoy it._

_If you do read, I'd love a review._

Chapter 1

"Daddy?"

Alex was woken by a timid little voice and a few light taps on his shoulder. He opened his eyes, and rolled over. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but as soon as he saw hit little girl looking down at him timidly, confusion and worry spread across his face and he sat up in bed.

"What's wrong sweetheart?"

There was a long pause. "Don't be mad."

Usually that sentence was followed by 'It wasn't me, it was Michael' or 'I only made a bit of a mess' and a shake of the head from Alex, exasperated at how clumsy his daughter was. But not this time. The usually hyper seven year old was quiet and subdued, and it wasn't right. Before he'd even found out what was going on he was worried.

"What's the matter Emily?"

"I threw up on my bed" she said, clearly worried she would get yelled at. "And I got some on my PJs."

Alex was fully awake now, his earlier exhaustion forgotten. He'd arrived home early evening and was greeted with a peck on the cheek from Addison as she headed out the door for work. He'd been on autopilot as he gave the kids a bath, and just about managed a chapter of Dilly the Dinosaur, before stripping off to his boxers and collapsing on the bed. He was out within seconds.

Alex swung his legs over the side of the bed and rooted around on the floor for his discarded T-shirt. He pulled it on over his head and rubbed his eyes. He smiled at Emily and ruffled her hair. His eyes were used to the lack of light now, only the glow from the streetlamps outside illuminated the room. She had tears dried on her cheeks and Alex reached to wipe one away with his thumb.

"I'm not mad sweetheart."

She stepped closer to the bed and wrapped her arms around Alex's waist. "I feel poorly."

Alex hugged his daughter for a moment, before brushing her sweat-drenched dark hair off her forehead and checked her temperature. "You've got a fever" he said, concerned. "Are you hot?"

Emily nodded. "My head hurts too."

He gently unwound her arms from his waist "Let's get you cleaned up" he said, his voice still strained from lack of sleep. "I'll get you some water, and some clean PJs"

"Can I have the ones with the cats on?"

Alex smiled and kissed her hair, he then stood up taking Emily's hand. "Of course you can."

Alex had tried to get Emily to sit in the bathroom down the hall and wait for him to get her clean clothes and drink, but she stubbornly refused to leave his side. As independent and adventurous as his daughter could be, she was also a real Daddy's girl, and always got clingy when she was tired or ill.

Addison found it adorable, and encouraged their bond. It amused her no end to watch Alex having dinner parties with My Little Ponies and Lucy, Emily's favourite rag doll. Then there was the time she had decided to do his hair and make-up… Alex complained half-heartedly, but he loved it really.

He rummaged around in the laundry closet for a towel, the PJ's tucked under one arm. He couldn't see to find a towel at first, he didn't think he could handle the bright light just yet. Eventually he located it and closed the door, shutting it gently.

As they walked down the hall to the bathroom, Alex snuck a peak into the room next door. Michael was fast asleep, his Thomas the Tank Engine nightlight bathed the room in a blue glow and he slept soundly under the covers. He was glad he hadn't woken, although Alex wasn't surprised. His three year old son could sleep through anything.

He pulled the door too, and at the same moment Emily tugged urgently on his sleeve. "I'm going to be sick again."

"Okay." He clicked the bathroom light on and retrieved a bowl from under the sink, kept there for this very emergency. The last time it had been used it was him, and not one of the kids that needed it. Addy warned him not to eat that burger, he wished he'd listened.

Emily sat on the chair in the corned and Alex positioned the bowl in front of her just in time. She threw up again, then immediately shrank back inside herself. "Sorry."

Alex crouched down in front of her. "Don't apologise, it's not your fault." She nodded. "I think you're dehydrated, have a drink." Emily took the glass and sipped the water inside. Alex turned around to fill the bath. He turned the water on and plugged the hole.

"Can we turn the light off Daddy?" Emily asked.

"I won't be able to see what I'm doing sweetheart" he said, placing his hand under the stream of hot water, testing the temperature. "Let's get you cleaned up shall we?"

"It's hurting my eyes." Alex turned around. Emily was squinting against the light and had her hands over her eyes. "I have a headache." Her voice had gone from timid to strained. She was clearly distressed.

A wave of panic swept through Alex and he shut off the water. "Let Daddy see" he said, an edge to his voice. He tried to pulled Emily's hands away from her eyes but she shook her head furiously. He reached up and turned off the main light. Emily calmed down a little, but now started to cry. The sudden lack of light meant Alex couldn't see her very clearly, but he could hear her sobs.

"I feel really sick."

"I know." Alex looked around, his breathing becoming laboured. "Emily, I need you to do something for me. I need you to look at the mirror." With every word he spoke he grew more and more nervous, dreading the thoughts that were forming in his mind and terrified of their meaning.

Emily tried to turn her head to the side. "Oww." The apparent pain she was in caused her to cry out. She stuck her arms out towards Alex, and he pulled her into a hug. She leaned forward, her face buried in Alex's shoulder, her feet barely touching the floor. He rubbed her back gently, panic rising within him.

"Baby, I'm sorry, I need to turn the light on." Emily shook her head violently, not lifting her head away from Alex's body. "Shh, I know darling, but I've got to." He let go of her with one arm and quickly turned the light back on.

Scared of what he might find, but with an urgency that his coherent thoughts told him was necessary, he gently lifted up her pyjama top and stared down at her back. Dark red blotches appeared on her skin.

Something snapped in his brain, and without allowing his thoughts to fully form, to give him time to panic, he scooped Emily into his arms. He'd never run so quickly down the stairs in his life. Holding his daughter tightly with one arm, he clumsily grabbed the cordless phone from the table by the door.

He didn't switch the light on in the living room, such trivial things didn't cross his mind, but the light from the street was bright enough that he could see clearly. Emily had grown quiet again. He laid her down on the sofa, and watched her eyes drift shut.

"Emily" he shook her. "Stay away darling."

He stared at the phone, his mind momentarily unable to focus, but his senses soon returned. He dialled 911 on the keypad, his heart-rate quickening as the line connected. It can't have taken more than a few seconds but it seemed like forever. It was as if time stood still.

"I need an Ambulance" Alex said, when the operator began to speak. He didn't let her finish, he didn't need to. The adrenaline fuelled urgency in order he'd just given was replaced by a quieter, more subdued voice. He looked down at Emily on the couch in front of him, and the seriousness of the situation hit him. "I'm a doctor" he said, down the phone line. "You need to hurry. My daughter has meningitis."

* * *

Alex knew what to do, he'd read the textbooks, even treated a few cases at work, but somehow the instructions of the operator went someway to calming him. "The ambulance is no more than 5 minutes away" she said, when she'd finished telling him the correct action to take. "Try to stay calm."

He rested the phone on the floor, and stood up. He didn't really know why, but he his body was pumped with adrenaline. Pacing would do no good, he thought. He needed his energy to help his little girl. Even though the doctor part of him knew there was nothing more he could do until the paramedics arrived, the father part of him was screaming to try. He paced back and forth once, before stopping, shaking his head at the futility of it.

He knelt down by Emily's head, resolving to just watch her, check her vitals, make sure she didn't stop breathing. He stared hard at her face, as if just watching her would stop her slipping away. She was still breathing. The breaths were shallow and barely there, and by now she had lost consciousness, but they were still there. They were still there. He picked up the phone again, clutching it so hard his knuckles turned white.

The doorbell rang, which shook Alex out of his silent vigil. He had no concept of how much time had passed. He glanced at the clock on the mantel piece. It was just after 3am. "They're here" he said into the phone and hung up. He hurriedly got to his feet and unbolted the front door. Without even looking into eh paramedics' faces, he turned around and rushed straight back into the living room.

"How long has she been showing symptoms?" the voice of a middle-aged man said.

"I don't know" Alex said, "She woke up about half an hour ago, but I don't…" He trailed off, overwhelming dear rendered him unable to finish his sentence.

The man nodded, and said something to his partner. Alex didn't register what he said, he was too busy gazing with worry at his little girl. He noticed with horror that the rash had spread and was creeping up her next.

A woman's hand fixed an oxygen mask to Emily's face and Alex thought he heard the words "We should go now."

He blinked. "My son" he said, suddenly remembering Mikey. "He's asleep upstairs, I have to go get him." He heaved himself onto his feet and bounded up the stairs.

His actions and movements from then on were a blur. He remembered scooping Michael into his arms, blanket and all, and he remembered having the clarity of thought to run to Emily's room and pick her doll up off the floor. She needs it, he thought, she'll be scared.

Michael hadn't stirred. Alex envied him, blissfully unaware of the drama, without a single worry spoiling his dreams. Alex felt as though the all-encompassing dread that clouded his mind would eat him alive.

When he's ran back down the stairs after what couldn't have been longer than 2 minutes, they had already loaded Emily into the ambulance on a stretched. Alex climbed the steps, along with the female paramedic, and the doors were slammed behind them. He sat down, Michael cradled in his arms, and after a moment, the sirens began blaring.

One thought managed to push through the fear he felt as he watched the paramedic examine Emily's limp body. "My wife. I have to call my wife."


	2. Chapter 2

_Next chapter. I was going to leave you in suspense for a bit, but I'm just far too nice ;) It probably won't be at least a week before my next update, uni work must come first (unfortunately!) I hope you enjoy this and will read chapter 3 when I get around to writing it!_

Chapter 2

"Here, put these on."

Alex was pulled out of his trance by the paramedic handing him something wrapped in plastic. They were green scrub pants, still in their packaging. For the first time, he realised he'd left the house in only his boxers, and he took them gratefully. Shifting Michael's weight in his arms, he opened the bag and pulled them out.

"Here, let me take him." The woman checked Emily's heart rate again and sat down on the bench next to Alex. He passed her Mikey and pulled the pants on. He was wearing slippers. He couldn't remember putting them on. The night's events were unclear in his mind, he didn't know what was happening. Yet he managed to see the irony that he'd remembered his daughter's doll, complete with blonde hair and purple dress, but hadn't got dressed.

He couldn't focus on himself, only his daughter and the danger he knew she was in if they didn't arrive at the hospital soon. That was what being a father was all about.

The paramedic next to him seemed to sense what he was thinking. "We're only a mile away from the hospital, we'll be there any minute."

Alex nodded. He knew that every second counted. When he and Addison had been house hunting all those years ago, they'd tried to find somewhere as close to Seattle Grace as they could. The chance of five minutes more lie-in in the mornings was all that was on their minds then, never would they have guessed that their close proximity to work could potentially saved their child's life.

Micheal moaned slightly, but only stirred a little. He squirmed back onto Alex's lap, even though he was still asleep. Being in his Daddy's arms again quietened him down straight away.

There paramedic got up and listened to Emily's chest. When she removed the stethoscope from her ears, the look on her face said it all. For the first time that night, Alex allowed the emotion to spill over the barrier he'd erected. He brought his free hand to his forehead, and he squeezed his eyes tight shut. A tear escaped and fell onto the floor.

When he raised his head again, the vehicle was no longer in motion, and the siren had stopped. The backdoors of the ambulance were flung open, and the paramedics wasted no time in lifting Emily onto a gurney.

"Emily Karev, 7 years old." It was the man's voice again. "Suspected bacterial meningitis."

"What?"

Alex heard a familiar voice and searched the crowd of people that had gathered to help. Dr. Bailey's eyes met his own, red from crying and starting to sting. They shared a look. Something about her gaze told him to snap into action. He was just sitting there, his daughter needed him. He climbed quickly out of the ambulance.

"Miranda" he choked out, and was surprised at the voice that escaped his mouth. It wasn't his. "Can you find Addy? She needs to be here." He swallowed. "Please find her."

* * *

Addison allowed herself a quick sideways glance at the clock on the or wall. It was 3:20am. She sighed, longing to be tucked up in bed, entwined in her husbands arms. She wasn't tired, she couldn't afford to be. She'd drunk enough coffee when she got to work 7 hours ago to keep her going for days. She hated working nights, she hated not being home when he kids woke up for school, and she hated the fact that she only saw Alex at work. She longed for a normal night in with her family. She shook that thought from her mind, she had a patient to focus on.

She stitched the last internal suture and reached for the scissors to cut it off. "Right" she said, "That's the hard part over. She was lucky. I just need to close her up then we can start bringing her around."

The sound of a pager going off cut trough the hushed atmosphere of the room, but no-one really paid a lot of attention to is. A scrub nurse picked it up. "Dr. Montgomery? It's yours, it's the ER."

"Can you give them a call Beth?" she asked politely, "find out what they want. Tell them I'll be down when I finish up here."

The nurse nodded, and reached for the phone on the wall. She spoke quietly, and Addison couldn't hear her words. Not that she was listening, she had already turned her attention back to the patient open on her table. It was a good job she couldn't see when the colour drained from the nurses face, and by the time she called Addison's name, she'd managed to compose herself.

"You really need to go now , Dr. Montgomery. It's urgent."

'It's the ER, it's always urgent' was the first thought that entered her mind, but she didn't say it aloud. Instead she raised her head, and when she saw the look on the nurse's face, her own brow contorted into confusion and worry.

"Okay…" she said slowly, scared of the reason for her colleagues worry. But it was useless panicking before she knew the reason, she told herself.

After assigning the junior doctor assisting her with the task of closing the patient, she walked out of the OR, pulling off her gloves, cap and gown as she walked. When she saw Bailey standing on the other side of the corridor, she froze.

The other doctor took a deep breath, as if preparing herself for what she was about to say. "I think you should sit down."

"Miranda, what's going on?" There was a questioning edge to her voice. Her whole body was on alert.

Dr. Bailey gestured towards the chars further down the hall. "Please."

"Just tell me what's going on."

Miranda nodded, and took a step towards Addison. She placed a hand on her arm, and Addison flinched slightly, going on the defensive want wanting to pull away. "Your family are downstairs" Bailey said slowly. Dread bubbled up inside Addison and her breathing became heavy. "It's Emily. They think… They think it's meningitis."

A sound somewhere between a yell and a scream escaped Addisons mouth. The gown she'd been clutching fell to the floor, and without a seconds pause, she ran down the hall. She had a vague feeling that Miranda was following behind her, but her brain only allowed her to focus on one thing. She stopped at the elevator, and pressed the button to go down, but after only a few seconds gave up waiting and burst through the double doors into the stairwell.

As she ran, as fast as she could manage, a million thoughts flashed through her mind, but none of them stayed there for long enough for her to make sense of. Her sneakers pounded the steps, as she spiralled down to the ground floor. It was a wonder she didn't trip. She'd grown light heated, and had the strange sensation that she was floating. Her mind was no longer locked in reality, her intense worry prevented her from registering anything physical around her.

At the bottom of the stairs, at the entrance to the ER, she allowed herself a moment to catch her breath. Resting her hands on her thighs, she bent forward. When she raised her head again, all thoughts of the pain she was in from her sudden physical exertion vanished.

She saw Alex before he saw him, but she was only looking at him for a few seconds before he noticed she was there. It was as if she sensed her presence, even from 10 metres away. Her eyes welled up with tears at the drained expression on his face, and she darted to him in an instant, flinging her arms around him in an embrace so forceful that she nearly knocked him off balance.

"Addy…" he said, in a way that told her he was as relieved to see her as she was to see him. She buried her face in his neck, sobs wracked her body, and her whole form shook in his arms. He held her tighter, swallowing his own emotions, trying to stay strong.

"Where is she?" Addison asked, but lifted her head and followed Alex's gaze through the glass window into the trauma room. It was filled with people, and it was a moment before Addison caught sight of her daughter lying lifeless on the bed, attached to wires and machines, with an intubation tube in her throat.

The shock of seeing Emily lying there, her little girl, caused her knees to give way, and she fell against Alex. He caught her in his strong arms and pulled her back up, holding her closer than ever. Addison looked away, unable to watch, but Alex couldn't take his eyes off her. He didn't want to let her out of his sight.

"What happened?" Addison asked, her voice barely audible.

Alex blinked, trying to remember. "She woke me up" he said, "she'd been sick. It all happened so fast. She didn't like the light, her neck was stiff, and then the rash…" he trailed off momentarily. "I just knew."

Addison took this in, then Alex saw fresh tears spring into her eyes. "Oh god" she said, leaning into Alex. "I'm sorry…"

Alex released their hug and gently took hold of the side of Addison's head, lifting it off his shoulder, so his eyes met hers. He could tell she had something to say, and that it was hard for her. He didn't want to cause her more distress, but he had to know. "What have you got to be sorry about?"

Addison choked back tears. "She had a headache at dinner. Before you came home. I gave her some cough syrup, I thought it was just a cold!" With every word she got more and more angry with herself, and she began to shake again.

"You weren't to know" Alex tried to comfort her, but he knew she was inconsolable. It was a parents job to blame themselves, and nothing he could say would make his wife feel any less guilty.

"I should have told you."

Once again, Alex forced her to look him in the face. "Addy, look at me." She tried to fight it for a moment, but eventually gave in. He stroked her face with his hands and looked at him with a forcefulness that immediately calmed her. "This is not your fault, it just happened." She nodded, but he just knew that she wasn't convinced.

"Where's Mikey?" she asked, letting out the breath she'd been holding.

"A nurse is looking after him" Alex said, "he's fine."

'Emily isn't' Addison thought, and forced herself to look at her through the glass. "I need to be with her."

Addison moved towards the door, but Alex caught her in another embrace. "We will" he soothed, "let them stabilise her."

A distance away from where they stood, Miranda leaned against the wall, catching her breath. Her heart broke watching them, she felt useless. She wanted to do something, anything, but logic told her there was nothing in the world she could do or say to make things any easier.

"Dr. Bailey" she heard a voice behind her, but didn't turn around. "I've got a 42 year old electrocution victim, I'm not sure what…" Meredith dropped the chart she was reading to her side and trailed off when she saw Addison and Alex locked motionless in each others arms.

"Er, can you find someone else please" Bailey said, not taking her eyes off the pair.

"What's happened?" Meredith asked, anxiety creeping into her voice.

"Emily's sick" she said simply. "Bacterial meningitis."

Meredith gasped. "Oh god…"

"I need to take a minute" Bailey said, "can you call the on-call resident?"

"Sure" Meredith said, but her mind was no longer on her own patient. As Bailey walked away towards the bathroom, Meredith said after her "I'll do that now."

But she didn't move, just gazed at her friends with sadness and regret.


End file.
